Sunday, 11 September 2011

Being Emotionally Present

A lot can be said about emotions. To some emotions are something to be aware of for they may be dangerous and confusing. They seem to be synonymous to irrationality and irrationality is regarded as dangerous too. While there may be some merit to this it often is a narrow point of view. To begin with emotions could be view as “facts”. Reason is not necessarily a guarantee of truth, right or good. Reason is a faculty that may be employed in many ways. Wrong doing can be logically plan with the help of reason. By the same token irrational behaviour may be good and welcome. Think about your best memories or cherished moments in life. Are they mostly reason and logically based or are they more on the emotional maybe irrational side of things? Irrational like the feeling we may experience for a loved one, or when enjoying a sunset, or a good glass of wine. Some things in life are beyond logic and reason and that is fine and they do not need a logical reasonable explanation.
So, reason, logic, irrationality and emotions are not by themselves good or bad. They are powerful ways of knowledge, different kinds of knowledge that yield their particular and specific share of reality. That is why is can be so difficult to give a rational logical explanation of what we feel, or of what we believe. This is important to consider if we want to improve our relationships with ourselves, with others, with nature, etc.
All this brings us nicely to the need to become emotionally present.

Yes, it is a need if we want to improve our relationships with others. We can not truly become emotionally present without the aid of reason. Here, both faculties have to work together; reason and emotions. There is a need to ponder and understand what or how we feel. Sometimes emotions are not straight forward and thus to reach some understanding of them reason has to play its part. We need to deal with emotions as facts. To realise where they come form and what is the meaning propelling them. This is very helpful if we want to manage and channel them for the best. There is nothing to be ashamed
of, or any other adjective we may come about to qualify our emotions. It is the way we behave that should matter.
Emotions may come from different sources: physical, psychological, the astral plane, the environment, memories, fears, and of course a combination of many other factors. That is why the may be so complicated at times. Only pondering, awareness and acceptance will help us to untangle the emotions and so gain understanding and the capacity to manage and channel them. When emotions, mind and soul work as a unit we achieve alignment and can solve the conflicts and overcome. It is a learning process. Many times, sharing what we feel may be of help to understand what is going on. Language works with concepts and that implies the need for reason to come into play and help clear up the panorama. Also, we have the benefit of listening to what the person we are sharing with has to say and that may be enlightening too. That is why we must be very selective and careful when choosing some to talk to.
There is also the problem of vulnerability. When we face our emotions in a truly and honest way we may not like what we may come across. Sharing it is also an exercise in openness and this turns us vulnerable, or at least we may feel it so, even if it isn't. But, let's face it, all meaningful relationships make us vulnerable. It is a risk we must take if we want to grow and evolve as individuals and in our relationships. Human being are relationship beings. Our present state is often the result of the quality of our relationship and when improving them we improve ourselves (and vice versa) as does the quality of our life. There is no true way of living that is vulnerable and risk free. The best way to balance the risk is truthfulness and honesty.
A very important consequence is that when we share and become emotionally present, others understand us better and we have made a stand. This clarity is essential to have mature relationships and it is often liberating! At the same time it brings understanding and release. A new stage is achieved or reached making growth and the possibility to evolve a much easier happening. It clears the way for energies to flow.
This is not a call to become emotional Kamikazes! As said we have to be selective. We have to learn to view emotions as facts and to ponder on them and be honest about them. Sharing them with the right person, being selective goes without saying.
When we do this our chances of emotional management and energy flow improve. We grow, we become freer, and our relationships improve. There is hardly a better form of service that we may perform for ourselves and for others. And this makes the world a better place to live.

2 comments:

  1. MD,
    I agree with the MD's reflections, but a problem raises its head. The modern world makes it harder and harder to share much more than emails and text messages, phone calls and TV. It seems like we are losing some elements of our western lives which used to be natural and now seem less and less available.
    Do you know what I mean? RM

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  2. I totally agree with what RM has said. More capacity to communicate those not mean necessarily more quality of information. At times the speed and amount of information communicated is a way for avoidance to find its place and the illusion of "being in touch" is easily mistaken for the "real thing". The issue is not about the means of communication but about the ability to be in touch with ourselves and then having the ability (courage, trust, honesty, care...) to become present and transparent with the ones we engange with, specially friends and loved ones. The change, as usual starts within ourselves.
    Thanks RM for the shared thoughts,
    The Dragon Keeper

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